“A member must have spiritual experiences in order for his function to be manifested. Without spiritual experiences, there is no spiritual function. For instance, I may be someone who has touched God’s love and who loves the brothers and sisters, but I may not have learned many lessons or have had many spiritual experiences. This will limit the operation of love within me and limit the manifestation of my function. Motivated by love, I may want to fellowship with a brother, but without spiritual experiences, I will not be able to help the brother. Without spiritual experiences, there will be no way to manifest my function according to the operation of love.

…. One day a sister in her fifties came to see me. As soon as she began to speak, she had only critical words for her husband, saying, “Brother Lee, my husband is so mean to me. He never gives me a pleasant look. He is away from home all day long even when he is not at work, and as soon as he gets home, he quarrels with me. I cannot bear this. Please pray that my husband would change.”

As she continued to speak, I was unsure of how to help her at first. However, I did know that this kind of disharmony in a family cannot be attributed to just one person. If her husband needed to be dealt with before the Lord, she did as well. As she spoke, I began to realize that she also had many problems. For example, she was very proud in her husband’s presence, and she was unwilling to bend or obey. If her husband was stubborn, she would be even more stubborn. If her husband was unhappy and had a long face, she would have an even longer face. When her husband came home late, she would wait to open the door and would greet him with an unpleasant expression on her face. In part, her reactions caused her husband to like her less and less and to want to be at home less and less.

After gaining a broader view of the problem, I said, “Sister, I will pray for your husband as you requested, but you must promise me that you will change your attitude toward him. As soon as he comes home in the evening and knocks on the door, you should open the door for him with a pleasant smile on your face. It would also be good if you could prepare a snack for him.” Upon hearing this, the sister said, “I cannot do that.” I responded, saying, “I know that we cannot do it in ourselves, but the Lord can. Is not the Lord in us as our life? Have a time of prayer with the Lord and ask the Lord to supply you in order to do this.”

It is not easy for a person to yield to the Lord, and it is even more difficult to yield to man. Although the sister was very troubled, she had to yield to the Lord in order for there to be any hope that her husband would yield as well. When she went home, she knelt down and wept bitterly in her room, saying, “Lord, I cannot do this. I cannot do this.” In her prayer, however, she was deeply touched by the Lord, and she yielded to Him. Then she inwardly yielded to her husband as well. That evening she dressed neatly, prepared some snacks, and waited for her husband to return. When her husband returned around twelve o’clock and knocked on the door, she immediately opened the door and had a much more agreeable attitude. This went on for several evenings, and soon there was a completely different situation in their house. After the sister yielded in this way, her husband began to yield as well.

In order to help people practically, it is not enough to have merely love; we must have spiritual experiences as well. Once there is experience, various functions will be manifested. We must learn the lessons of touching the authority of the Head, accepting the ruling of the Head, and letting the Lord subdue us in every matter. We can truly help others only in the matters in which we have been subdued. Function is based on experience.”

(Service for the Building Up of the Church, pp. 35-37)