“We must ask ourselves: How much ground does Christ have in us? How much of the element of Christ Himself, the fullness of Christ, do we have? These are important but basic questions. In order for the element of Christ to increase in us, we need to accept the breaking of the cross. The more we accept the breaking of the cross, the more the element of Christ will increase in us. The work of the cross deals not only with evil things; it deals also with good things. The evil things in our natural being need to be broken by the cross, but even our natural goodness needs to be broken by the cross. God has no desire that we would be constituted with evil things, but He also has no desire that we would be constituted with good things. His only desire is that Christ would be constituted into us. However, in order for Christ to be constituted into our being, God needs to break us.

Being broken is not a doctrine but a reality. All matters related to our living must pass through the breaking of the cross. Husbands are broken through their wife, and wives are broken through their husband. A husband who is naturally good may not have much of the element of Christ in him. Likewise, a wife who is naturally good may not have much of the element of Christ in her. Both the husband and the wife must pass through the cross and be broken in order for the element of Christ to increase in them. This principle also applies to parents as well as to children. In both big things and small things, we must learn the lesson of being broken. We must accept the dealing and breaking of the cross in every circumstance. This is the only way for Christ to gain ground in our being so that His element can increase in us.

If we are willing to accept the breaking of the cross and allow Christ to have ground in us, we will spontaneously lead others to accept the breaking of the cross. This will impart the element of Christ into them, and our work will have real spiritual value. This is the only way for the church to be built up. If our work does not cause the element of Christ to increase in the saints, our work will not build up the church. The church is constituted only with the mingled nature of Christ. Hence, we must work to increase the element of Christ in the brothers and sisters in order to build up the church.

For example, when we visit the saints, we may meet a sister who has a problem of not submitting to her husband. When we meet her, it is very easy to turn to Ephesians 5:22 and exhort her, saying, “Sister, the Bible clearly says that a wife should be subject to her husband because he is the head; we must stand in a covered position.” Although such an exhortation is based on a biblical truth, it may not cause the element of Christ to increase in her. Instead, our speaking may only cause her own element to increase, especially if she agrees with us. She may say to herself, “Yes, I am the wife, but I do not submit to my husband. As a child of God, I should follow the Bible.” Thus, she will receive our exhortation, pray with us, and resolve to submit to her husband. Since she is also afraid that she will not be able to submit, she will pray to the Lord, asking Him to give her the strength to submit to her husband. Although this prayer seems quite good, there is a hidden thought in this prayer that her element must be strengthened.

There are two possible outcomes to her resolution to submit to her husband. The first outcome is relatively rare: She will grit her teeth and submit in her natural strength until she thinks that she has succeeded. Then she will say, “Praise the Lord! He has really heard our prayer. I can submit now. I acknowledge my husband as the head, and I am willing to stand in a covered position.” When she meets another sister who cannot submit to her husband, she will even testify of how she accepted the Lord’s lesson and followed His word to receive her husband as her head and submit to him. Even if this is the outcome, it will have no spiritual value, because her submission is entirely based on her own effort; it is altogether man-made. Although she submits to her husband, there will be no element of Christ in her submission.

The second possible outcome is more common: She resolves to submit but is unable to do it. In fact, the more she tries to submit, the less she is able and the more she will fail. Eventually, in complete despair she will say, “I know that I should submit, but I cannot. I also know that the Bible tells me to submit, but I simply cannot. Therefore, I have no choice but to quit trying to submit.”

It is hard to know which outcome is worse. As far as good behavior is concerned, I would choose the first outcome, because there is more harmony in a family when a wife submits to her husband. Nevertheless, I would rather choose the second outcome so that the wife would gain Christ. Both outcomes are initially void of Christ. A sister who can submit based on her own strength is void of Christ, and if she cannot submit, she is still void of Christ. Neither her success nor her failure has an element of Christ. However, her inability to submit will be better for her in terms of her being broken.

If we visit such a sister, the help that we can render depends on the lessons we have learned. If we have learned the lesson of being broken by the cross, we will know that God has no intention to build up the natural element, and we will know that God desires to build up Christ in us. If we have allowed God to do a building work in us, we will be able to help the sister, leading her to see that God has a good intention despite her inability to submit. We can help her to accept the cross and to learn to condemn herself and put herself aside by the cross so that the element of Christ can increase in her. Then she will begin to turn to the Lord and say, “Lord, it is impossible for me to submit, but it is possible with You. I have no way to submit to my husband; I am not able. Only You are able. I cannot submit in myself. I want to be in You.” In this way she will become more than just a sister who submits; she will become a sister who is full of Christ. She will be constituted not merely with submission but with Christ’s element. Her constitution will be Christ.

If we do not lead the saints in this way, I am concerned that the more we lead, the greater the saints’ problems will become. If we can only advise a sister to submit to her husband, the result will not be good if she listens to us. If she submits in herself, Christ will not have much ground in her being, and in the future we will be able to help her even less because we have only strengthened her self, which cannot be built up. Although she has the natural strength to submit, Christ will not increase in her. After being “edified” by us, it will be more difficult for her to be broken. She will become like a block of concrete. She will pray, “O Lord, thank You. You are helping me to submit to my husband,” and she will stand up and testify, “This is the Lord’s work. Formerly, I could not submit to my husband. However, I was taught how to submit.” At this point she will become almost unbreakable, and she will have no understanding of her need to be broken and subdued by God. Instead, she will only boast of her strong resolve and success.

As far as human conduct is concerned, the family atmosphere of this sister will become more harmonious if she submits, but as far as the building up of the church is concerned, there will be big problems and great difficulties in the future because the element of Christ has not increased in her. She will become a person who is strong in her will but completely void of Christ. It will be very difficult for her to be built up in the church. She will be self-confident, self-assured, and full of hidden pride. She will not be able to get along with others or be considerate and sympathetic toward others, because she has not been broken.

Such a self-righteous and self-confident sister cannot easily be joined, coordinated, or built up with others. Instead, she will cause problems in the church. Outwardly, she may behave very well and seem like a brand-new tire that has no wear and tear. However, when a small incident touches or offends her, she will explode like a tire that is filled with too much air. When she becomes angry, she will not only defy her husband but also cause problems in the church.

Brothers and sisters who have wrestled with God and who have been broken by God cannot be “pumped up” very easily. When they encounter people and circumstances that previously “pumped them up,” the air “deflates” from their being. No matter how much difficulty they encounter, it is not easy for them to become agitated. These saints are humble, but their humility is spontaneous; it is not forced. Although they live in Christ, they can sympathize with others and do not belittle those who do not live in Christ. Although they live an overcoming life, they can be considerate of the weaknesses of those who fail and sympathize with them. Hence, they can easily be built up in the church.

If we want to build up the saints, we must grasp this principle: we must follow the leading of the Holy Spirit and help others to learn to live in Christ according to the work that the Holy Spirit is doing in them. This will enable Christ to have more ground in them so that the element of Christ will increase in them. This is to build Christ into the saints; it is also to arrive at the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ.

I hope that we can grasp this principle. The goal of our help and leading must be to build Christ into the saints. Without this focus, we will not be able to build up the church. The saints can be delivered from being individualistic, secluded, and scattered only when Christ is built into them, and then they will become one in Christ. This is the second principle related to the building up of the church.”

(Service for the Building Up of the Church, pp. 80-84)